Hobbies: The Sad Truth

  • I never understood poetry, and haven't read any since I was forced to in high school.
  • My life has been profoundly influenced by the work of the noted philosopher Howard Stern.
  • Opera sucks. My all-time favourite TV show is South Park.
  • My literary pursuits are limited to reading Time Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and USA Today.
  • The only language I speak is English. But I speak it real good.
  • I avoid confrontations like the plague.
  • I don't know how to swim.
  • I love watching sports on TV. I hate playing sports.
  • The only exercise I ever get is walking between my car and office (a distance of about 150 yards).
  • My social life revolves around my web-surfing activities.
  • One of my ambitions when I retire is to learn how to make french fries.
  • I like making lists. That is my only true hobby. Pretty pathetic, eh?